Jane Austen seems very fond of writing about men who propose more than once before they get the lady they love. I counted no less than three of Jane Austen’s novels that feature a man who proposes to the same lady twice and this is not including Mansfield Park where Henry Crawford will just not take ‘no’ for an answer when he proposes to Fanny Price. There is something very romantic about a man who, even after being refused by a lady, cannot forget her or stop loving her and will stop at nothing until he has her. Men have very frail egos and I am sure it was no different in Jane Austen’s time so it must be a very powerful love that induces a man to risk rejection from a lady who has already rejected him once.
The first example that I am going to mention is one of Jane Austen’s lesser known characters. It is Robert Martin from Emma. We do not know much about him except what we learn from Harriet Smith. He is a farmer and Harriet is good friends with his sisters and stayed with them over the summer. Harriet is obviously very fond of him and before Emma Woodhouse introduced her to a higher level of society she would have had no hesitation in accepting his offer of marriage. Robert Martin even asked Mr Knightley’s opinion before proposing to Harriet and Mr Knightly encouraged him, believing that the two of them were perfectly suited to each other. Robert Martin proposes to Harriet by means of a letter and this gives her time to think it over and show it to Emma before making her decision. Emma has decided in her own mind that Mr Elton is in love with Harriet and believes that Mr Martin is not of the right social class to be married to Harriet. She manipulates Harriet into refusing Mr Martin and cleverly makes Harriet think it was all her own decision. Harriet does not see much of Robert Martin or his sisters for some time but when she does run into them unexpectedly she is pleased to see there are no ill feeling s between them. Towards the end of Emma we learn that Mr Martin has renewed his offer of marriage to Harriet. We are not told exactly what encouraged him to believe that Harriet might accept him this time but that, having learnt to think for herself, is exactly what she does and everyone, including Emma is delighted.
A second example is to be found in Persuasion. Captain Wentworth and Anne Elliot first meet eight years prior to the story of Persuasion beginning. They are very much in love but despite Captain Wentworth, at that time Commander Frederick Wentworth being “a remarkably fine young man, with a great deal of intelligence, spirit and brilliancy” he had yet to rise in the Navy and become rich and successful. Anne was persuaded by a close family friend Lady Russell to refuse his proposal and he left for sea very bitter and angry. Their paths do not cross again until eight years later in Uppercross. Captain Wentworth has now risen in the Navy and become rich and successful but has not yet married. Anne is also still unmarried but she is now approaching her late twenties and getting close to an age where she will be considered too old to marry. At first Captain Wentworth pays Anne very little attention and still seems resentful towards her. Only true love would cause a man to still hold such a grudge eight years after being rejected. Anne suffers quietly, she is still in love with him but does not let anyone see her pain. Anne goes to Bath in January and Captain Wentworth is in Bath the next month and their paths cross a number of times. Captain Wentworth has reason to believe that Anne may soon be receiving a proposal from her cousin and loses hope that Anne will ever love him again. Anne is desperate to tell him that she does not welcome her cousin’s attention. In March Captain Wentworth overhears a conversation in which Anne and a Captain Harville are discussing the difference between men and women when in love and he hears Anne saying, “All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it) is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.” Captain Wentworth immediately writes Anne a secret letter begging her forgiveness and renewing his proposal and this time she is more than happy to accept hardly believing it is true. This shows that Captain Wentworth has loved her all the time, he has not forgotten her over the last eight years and just needed the smallest bit of encouragement to renew his proposal.
The most famous second proposal is of course that of Mr Darcy. It is also very romantic. When he first proposes to Elizabeth Bennet no one is more surprised than Elizabeth herself. He is unaware of how much she dislikes him and has no doubt that he will be accepted. She not only refuses him but declares that he is the last man in the world whom she could ever marry. After being refused in such a way many men would resolve to never think of the lady again but not Mr Darcy. He first writes her a letter to clear his name of some of the things she has accused him of such as ill-treatment of Mr Wickham. He also takes on board all the insults she has hurled at him and sets about trying to change for the better. When they next meet, in Derbyshire he is eager to show her that he has changed. When he does get the chance to propose a second time he does so in a much more humble manner with no certainty of being accepted saying, “You are too generous to trifle with me. If you feelings are what they were last April tell me so at once. Mine affections and wishes are unchanged.” Mr Darcy says he was given some hope when he learned from Lady Catherine that Elizabeth made no promise of never marrying Mr Darcy but he knew he had been refused once when he had expected acceptance but he was willing to risk such an abominable refusal to marry the one woman he loved.
All these stories are so romantic – they tell of men who love a woman so much they cannot do anything but think of her, even when hope seems lost and have to sometimes months or even years later renew their offer when they are given the smallest amount of hope that they won’t be rejected a second time. It is hardly surprising Jane Austen thought this was an exciting plot to include in her stories.
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